The Final Writing of "Free Hugs Campaign"

There was a man with a black coat walking in the crowd and wanted to share his love to everyone he met . He has long and curly hair. The man who wears that round spectacle walked alone and brought a sign with him. “Free Hugs” were the words which were written in that white board. In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effect of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal. He wanted to give his free hugs to everyone he met. At the beginning, everybody thought that he was crazy or under a medical treatment. There’s no one noticed him. But, the condition was changed when an old lady started to hug him. The man who brought the sign suddenly gave his hug to her. After that, he was started to give his hug to anybody else. Many people came to him and hugged each other. This is a very touching moment when everybody started to share their love by hugging somebody else. This action was growing until many people did that. Not only hugging, the other people like the youngsters also helped him to spread the word. Some boys held the “Free Hugs” sign and noticed the other new people.

 But, this action seemed a bit out of the law by the police. So, they banned this action. Maybe the police thought that the man was trying to spread a Satanism trough persuading people and ask them to hug each other. The thing wasn't like that. The way to make the police believe was by writing a petition. It was supported by the people. The supports were showed when the people started to sign the petition. 10.000 signs! There were a lot of people agree and supported this action. Because of that, the police couldn’t say anything. This “free hugs” campaign ran well without any problem. And then, many people were hugging each other.

I can learn many things from this campaign. We may not underestimate somebody who we don’t know yet. Whether he or she has long/short hair, bad clothing, we have to respect each other. The main point is to share our love to other people. By hugging someone else, we have shared our love and spread positive feelings to others. For your information, the people in Paris also do the same things on every Valentine’s Day.

Outline

Hi,

This is the outline of my friend's work (adywirayasa12.blogspot.com). I tried to give some comments of his work. I hope i wouldn't make any mistake, hahaha. You can check his page, too.

SHARE HAPPINESS WITH HUGS

By Adi Wirayasa (adywirayasa12.blogspot.com)

Title                                    : Share happiness with hugs

Topic sentence                    : He was walking in the downtown and offering free hugs for everyone.

a.    Major supporting sentence 1 :

·         But at the beginning of this video, some people tried to keep a distance with him because people might think that he was insane or else.

Minor supporting sentence :

·         But the situation was changed when an elder woman come to him and asked to get a hug from him and the man was hugging old woman gladly.

·         Many people pay an attention to the man when he was hug the old woman, and after that some people wanted to get a free hugs from the man too.

·         Everybody whether male, female, old and young wanted to get a free hugs from the man and that was so sweet.

b.    Major supporting sentence 2 :

·         In the middle of this video, the event "Free Hugs" that conducted by the man was banned by the police.

Minor supporting sentence :

·         The man tried to explain what was the purpose of the event.

·         After that, the police allowed him to continued his event and the other people started to do the same.

c.     Major supporting sentence 3 :

·         They give a free hugs to everyone and during the event, the man give a signature list to the people who wanted to get a free hug and supported this event.

Minor supporting sentence :

·         Finally, the target of signature was reached.

·         10 thousand signatures was reached by the man

·         And then to celebrate the success of his action, many people give free hugs and hugging each other.

d.    Concluding sentence :

·         That was so sweet because this video wants to tell us that it's important to share our love to the other, share the happiness to the other people and respect to each other. At last, this video is so great and of course it was so sweet

e.    Grammar :

·         Many people pay an attention to the man when he was hug the old woman,"

I think that it should be :

"Many people paid an attention to the man when he was hugging the old woman"

·         But the situation was changed when an elder woman come to him and asked to get a hug from him and the man was hugging old woman gladly.

I think that should be :

“But the situation was changed when an elder woman came to him and asked to get a hug from him and the man was hugging old woman gladly.”

·         Everybody whether male, female, old and young wanted to get a free hugs from the man and that was so sweet.

I think this sentence should be :

“Everybody whether male, female, old and young wanted to get a free hug(free hugs) from the man and that was so sweet.”

·         After that, the police allowed him to continued his event and the other people started to do the same.

I think it should be :

“After that, the police allowed him to continue his event and the other people started to do the same.”

·         And then to celebrate the success of his action, many people give free hugs and hugging each other.

I think it should be :

“And then to celebrate the success of his action, many people give free hugs and then hug each other.”

·         That was so sweet because this video wants to tell us that it's important to share our love to the other, share the happiness to the other people and respect to each other.

I think it should be :

“That was so sweet because this video wants to tell us that it's important to share our love and the happiness to the other people and also respect to each other.”

f.     Vocabulary    :         

·         -

g.    Mechanic   :

·         Good